Vacationing Like Fools

 For the main family vacation this summer, we chose New Mexico! We thought had fun exploring a bit outside our usual radius.

The boys did really well with all the car time! I'm glad we did it, even though it did get rough a couple times. We hiked a mountain in the rain, ate yummy foods, swam a lot, and visited Josh's apartment. On the way home we stopped off in Oklahoma for a night and spent some time with Joel's sister, Susie, and her little family!

 We had several opportunities to practice appropriate restaurant behavior... little wins are worth remembering!

Call Us Crazy

This is a pretty typical bro moment here at our house. 

We are going on vacation!! My amazing brother works in NewMexico, and we are going on a 5 day trip to visit him! It's a 13 hr drive, people. The plan is to get up at like 2AM Friday morning and drive a good part of the way while the boys are sleeping. Yeah, we might be a little optimistic in our thinking... but you're only young once, right? I can't wait.

Foster Care

This is SUCH a moving video! It's deserving of your time. 

https://fstoppers.com/video/removed-incredible-film-nathanael-matanick-7975

Here We Are

We have taken the leap! A 4 year old boy with beautiful curls & a crazy smile calls me Mommy. I am terrified. What did I get myself into, anyway? I'm not prepared, not experienced enough, for this great responsibilty! 

"There are many complex moments that arise from adoption, because adoption, at its core, begins with brokenness."

This is so true - I wish I'd come up with the quote myself! My foster son came from a very disfunctional, broken home. His birth mom did not nurture & love him as he deserved. She would not even allow him to call her "Mom". At age 2, this sensitive little boy was caring for his newborn brother with a maturity far beyond his years! It breaks my heart to imagine what "normal" looked like for him, and I wonder if he thought about his family situation or was just oblivious.

Every day I awake to the huge challenge of disciplining him, caring for his special needs, potty training, fighting through mealtimes, keeping him safe, & trying to make a connection. Why do I often balk at the chance to reach out and touch him? I feel SO incredibly guilty that I'm not 100% in love yet. This is what I prayed for, what I've dreamed of for years now! We have an adoptive placement - albeit a legal risk one - shouldn't that be enough?! He calls me "Mommy" and really wants my love and acceptance. Why can't I just push past my awkwardness and feelings of inadequacy to just LOVE this precious child? 

All I can say is, I suppose that's why a lot of people refer to it as the "adoption journey". I used to think that was an attempt to be emotional & coin a phrase! But really, I am finding it to be just that... a trek, a marathon, a true journey that we've set out on. 

"A child born to another woman calls me mom. The depth of the tragedy and the magnitude of the privilege are not lost on me."